The Dogs Bollocks review

I can’t recall how I heard about The Dog’s Bollocks. It may have been some mentions on Twitter and if you Google it (try dogs bollocks roodehek), you’ll see a bunch of people have reviewed it already. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. It’s a guy, called Nigel, selling burgers from his garage. I’m not sure it’s even legal.

It’s supposed to be a takeaway burger spot, there are some tables and chairs (old school wire garden furniture to be more precise) for people to wait for their burgers to be prepared. Wait you will, as these are no McDonald’s burgers which can be slapped together in 1 minute and 17 seconds. These big boys are made individually, with love. So expect to wait around 10 minutes.

Some people choose to eat their burgers there (as we did). We also bought some of the wine that Nigel makes. It’s called Ukuva iAfrika. It comes in 1.5L cardboard tubes and he charges R50. There were 2 whites and one red on offer, we opted for the 2010 cabernet sauvignon & shiraz blend which was pretty easy drinking.

The interesting thing (well, is there anything about this place that isn’t interesting?) about The Dog’s Bollocks is that Nigel only makes 30 burgers an evening. When they are gone, that’s it. Which means you want to get there fairly early to ensure you don’t lose out. We were there at about 7:30pm. He opens at 5pm, Monday to Saturday.

There are about 12 different burgers to choose from (no vegetarian option that I noticed). It’s all beef patty and I noticed a prego option but don’t know if it’s steak or a normal burger with prego sauce. All of them are priced at R55, except for the plain burger which is R50. I went for the Old School 1950’s Style Mega Slider. Nigel tells me this is how burgers were made originally, with melted cheddar and caramelised onion. All the burgers come with a generous amount of salad in it too. My burger was pretty damn tasty, but don’t make the mistake I did of biting into it as soon as I got it. I burned my mouth quite badly.

The rest of the table ordered cheese burgers and a mexican chilli burger which actually has a chilli con carne sauce (hot). Everyone was super happy with their burgers, one person even suggested that it was the best burger he had enjoyed in South Africa.

Nigel also makes the Ukuva iAfrika sauces you may have seen around. So those are available if you want a little extra spice. I see there are also nachos on the menu but I didn’t see anyone order them. I assume they use the carne that goes on the Mexican chilli burger, which means they will be pretty tasty.

Nigel said we can tell people about the place but not where it is. So you’ll have to find it yourself, but if you happen to go down Buitenkant Street and turn left after the Shell into Roodehek Street, start looking at number 6.

They don’t have a website, but there is a Facebook page.

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5 Responses

  1. Dax says:

    I returned to Dog’s Bollocks this evening. Things have certainly changed in the 2 years since I was last there.

    We were a bit worried as we only got there at 7:30pm (on a Tuesday night in June), but there were still burgers available. Either because it was quiet or because apparently there are 50 burgers a night available now instead of 30. Although I think it’s still the same amount of mince overall as the pattys were much smaller than on my previous visit.

    Apart from the pattys being smaller, the amount of salad in the burger has quadrupled. It’s way too much salad. Apparently you can tell them to reduce the amount of salad in the burger for you, but why don’t they just put in a more reasonable amount to start?

    The ratio of bun to patty to salad in a burger is very important. And with the smaller patty and larger salad element, the burger no longer has the right ratio. I had the cheese, bacon & barbeque burger, but all I tasted the whole time was lettuce with an occasional hint of meat.

    I guess this is a cheap way to maintain their reputation as the biggest burger in CT. But I’d rather have the tastiest burger in CT.

    The prices have gone up substantially. The burgers used to cost R55 and now cost R80. The selection is fairly similar to what it was. I was told that they are expanding into gourmet burgers soon.

    Talking about expanding, they are now open during the day for breakfast and lunch but not serving burgers. I also heard they are expanding into the back area and offering Italian food from there.

    The drinks offering has expanded which is great. They have a beer that is contract brewed for them. They also offer cooldrinks and wine.

    The old school wire chairs have cushions on now which makes them a lot more comfortable and there are more than the 3 tables that they had previously.

    So while I think the overall offering has improved, the burgers are the reason you go and the burgers are now expensive and not that great. Compare the pic in my original review above with the pics from the my 2nd visit here:

    https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10152498416833899.1073741898.288002683898&type=3

  2. Dog's Bollocks says:

    (I’ve copied this over from Facebook – Dax)

    Hey guys it kills me to see all these negative comments because both Nige and I pour our hearts in to everything we do here. Our burgers definitely are not for everyone but you clearly have not sampled our new menu have you??? Wings, ribs and nachos? As for our patty’s they have never ever changed size, we still use the exact same patty moulder as Nige did day one before I got involved. Honest to God. As for size, sometimes our supplier puts too much fat to meat ratio, which makes the patty’s shrink more than they should. If you have ever been involved in the restaurant industry you may understand the issues one has with suppliers and consistency. As for lettuce, we have ALWAYS put shitloads of lettuce on our burgers-we call it a salad burger. Always have. And we do not frown upon people customizing their burger. We understand we can’t EVER please EVERYONE and that is why we are starting a ‘gourmet menu’ for people like you possibly. More fancy. As for prices it’s really unfortunate that everything around us keeps going up and up and up so my suppliers keep going up and sad to say we are not making any more GP on our food than we ever have in the past. Everything is costing us more, especially electricity. I eat out a lot and often I pay up to R100 and sometimes over for a burger and chips and walk away still hungry. Our portions are massive and no one ever walks away hungry that’s for sure. I am a huge believer in value for money. Anyway the point I’m getting at I guess is that the people that like our burgers LOVE them and yes they not for everyone so all I can suggest is that you come back, give us a second chance, sample the wings, ribs and nachos and then rate us again. I think that’s a fair deal no? Give this a quick read… http://morethanfood.co.za/time-still-dogs-bollocks/.

    • Dax says:

      Thank for responding to my review. You are correct, there has always been a lot of lettuce on your burgers, but there is much more now (just have a look at the pics in my review above, you can see a huge difference). I wasn’t excited about the amount of lettuce to begin with, but now it’s killing the burger.

      To give you some context, I have always been a fan of Dog’s Bollocks. My original review above was positive and anyone who asked me about burgers in CT would have heard me mention Dog’s Bollocks. However, my last experience was not good and I was with 6 other guys who all agreed that it was not great. The amount of lettuce was the sole complaint. I agree with you, the burgers are not for everyone and there were always people who didn’t like them but for the most part, feedback was positive. This is the first time it has been unanimously negative. And as you can see from the comments on FB, everyone else seems to be in agreement too. I’ve even been receiving private messages thanking me for giving an honest review in a sea of freebie grabbing bloggers.

      My comments were quite detailed (unlike other reviews out there). I acknowledged that the overall offering has improved, and that there is more to The Yard than just burgers. However, to be honest, it’s the burgers that made you. We were prepared to eat in a freezing cold garage. We were prepared to rush over early in the evening before the self imposed limitation of 50 burgers ran out. We were prepared to pay R80 for the burger with no sides (unless you count the salad for 4 actually on the burger). We were prepared to have limited service and limited drinks. We were prepared to sit on uncomfortable furniture and have our drinks fall over on the wonky tables. All because we like a good burger.

      Chicken wings and ribs are secondary. The burgers bring the boys to The Yard. So you can carry on reading random 20 word reviews and asking your friends if they like the burgers. Or you can listen to what people are telling you and fix them.

      If you want to put all the lettuce in CT on a burger, add a salad burger to the menu. Otherwise a quarter of that will suffice. I take the time to write these reviews in a way that restaurants can take note and make improvements. It’s not for me to rant. I mentioned on the night about the lettuce, but could see it had no impact.

      What happens now is up to you.

      • John says:

        You’re giving them a negative review because they put too much lettuce on the burger? Seriously?
        Dude. Take the god damn lettuce off.
        What a BS rant…

        • Dax says:

          Actually I didn’t give them a negative review. I said the offering has improved overall. Unfortunately taking the lettuce off is not that simple, as it’s shredded and the sauce is poured over it.